I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
