med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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