Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
