you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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