Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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