remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What did we do last night that was yellow?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
