once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
