Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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