dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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