well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
