In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
