this beer tastes like vomit already
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
