My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
