i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
