hell yes lets make some ravioli
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
