if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
