In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
