He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
