I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
