Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
