It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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