and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
