Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
