you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize