Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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