Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
