i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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