A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
