im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
