yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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