Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
