I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
