big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
