Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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