I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
