ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
