Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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