I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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