i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
