Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
