no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
