no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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