Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
