what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
