better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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