shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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