and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my shit smells like andre
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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