Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
