break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
