So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
