so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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