Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
